this is like me trying to showcase my talents for job interviews. 

this is like me trying to showcase my talents for job interviews. 

I asked myself what style we women could have adopted that would have been unmarked, like the men’s. The answer was none. There is no unmarked woman.

There is no woman’s hair style that can be called standard, that says nothing about her. The range of women’s hair styles is staggering, but a woman whose hair has no particular style is perceived as not caring about how she looks, which can disqualify her for many positions, and will subtly diminish her as a person in the eyes of some.

Women must choose between attractive shoes and comfortable shoes. When our group made an unexpected trek, the woman who wore flat, laced shoes arrived first. Last to arrive was the woman in spike heels, shoes in hand and a handful of men around her.

If a woman’s clothing is tight or revealing (in other words, sexy), it sends a message — an intended one of wanting to be attractive, but also a possibly unintended one of availability. If her clothes are not sexy, that too sends a message, lent meaning by the knowledge that they could have been. There are thousands of cosmetic products from which women can choose and myriad ways of applying them. Yet no makeup at all is anything but unmarked. Some men see it as a hostile refusal to please them.

Women can’t even fill out a form without telling stories about themselves. Most forms give four titles to choose from. “Mr.” carries no meaning other than that the respondent is male. But a woman who checks “Mrs.” or “Miss” communicates not only whether she has been married but also whether she has conservative tastes in forms of address — and probably other conservative values as well. Checking “Ms.” declines to let on about marriage (checking “Mr.” declines nothing since nothing was asked), but it also marks her as either liberated or rebellious, depending on the observer’s attitudes and assumptions.

I sometimes try to duck these variously marked choices by giving my title as “Dr.” — and in so doing risk marking myself as either uppity (hence sarcastic responses like “Excuse me!”) or an overachiever (hence reactions of congratulatory surprise like “Good for you!”).

All married women’s surnames are marked. If a woman takes her husband’s name, she announces to the world that she is married and has traditional values. To some it will indicate that she is less herself, more identified by her husband’s identity. If she does not take her husband’s name, this too is marked, seen as worthy of comment: she has done something; she has “kept her own name.” A man is never said to have “kept his own name” because it never occurs to anyone that he might have given it up. For him using his own name is unmarked.

A married woman who wants to have her cake and eat it too may use her surname plus his, with or without a hyphen. But this too announces her marital status and often results in a tongue-tying string. In a list (Harvey O’Donovan, Jonathan Feldman, Stephanie Woodbury McGillicutty), the woman’s multiple name stands out. It is marked.

gallifreyburning:

When someone reblogs an ancient post from your blog, one that wasn’t even tagged  

image

  1. me watching tv: it seems like the writers vastly overestimated how much i care about boys? huh. weird.

nyehs:

i literally just thought to myself “wow halloween is almost over” but then i remembered that the entire month of october isnt halloween and halloween is actually only one day and hasnt even started yet

  1. Bella: I know what you are
  2. Edward: say it
  3. Bella: ... problematic

crestas:

Survey #84 : Bold What’s True

you are in college
you are female 
you have a pretty good idea of what you want to do with your life
you are short (under 5’4”)
you text a lot
you are single, but like someone
you like a lot of different kinds of music 
you are close with your mom 
you don’t have a job 
you have a horrible fear of bees 
you have quite a few guilty pleasures 
you don’t have many scars 
you stay up late
you dye your hair 
you enjoy iced coffee 
you drink occasionally 
you like to shop 
your grades are fairly good 
you are lazy 
you prefer facebook to myspace 
you are paranoid 
you have a dog 
you would consider going to law school 
you would consider plastic surgery of some kind 
you are somewhat superstitious 
your first name is short (4 letters or less) 
you have/had a piercing other than ears 
you are not very athletic 
you watch a lot of television 
you also read a lot 
you get nervous easily 
you have blue eyes 
you are disorganized 
you feel that you are friendly 
you donate time or money to charitable organizations 
you don’t hear very well 
you are pale 
you have a tumblr
people ask for your advice
& you also ask for advice a lot 
you like sushi
you’ve been out of the country 
you have a food allergy 
you sleep with a stuffed animal
summer is your favorite season 
your birthday is in the spring 
your parents are divorced 
you have moved multiple times 
people think you are funny
but you have a weird sense of humor 
you carry a purse
you think a lot 
you meditate 
you seem shy, but only when you first meet someone 
you like parties
something on your body hurts right now 
you have a sensitive nose 
you often have strange dreams
you are a bit on the hyper side

fear+loathing
next
HG